Home Blog Page 100

Straights Having Sex With Gays: What?!

0

Gay Guys - Straight Guys Having Sex with Gay Guys

Calling all America!

The “Down-Low” is not just for black men. According to new studies, 11% of men have said that they never have had sex with men, but would like too. What?!

If this is true, then 11% of the straighties that I’ve met in my life were into me… I like that idea. Maybe everyone in the world IS bisexual. According to other psychology studies, the percentage of straight men who have had sex with guys could be in the 30s! What is the reason for this sudden burst of interest?

According to an article in Psychology Today, straight men are very easy to have sex with if you are a gay man because it’s not so much the person that will get them off, but it’s the sexual act in general. In the gay community, most gay guys will tell you that in their lives, they’ve had sex with at least one straight person. If not, they have had some sexual encounter with one. Nowadays, since pop culture has created such an openness to the idea, guys are flocking to the gay side of the pond – just to experience.

The “identity” has nothing to do with it. It’s the sexual release, according to the article. The behavior might reflect a desire to experiment, to engage in something taboo, or to express inner psychological conflicts involving their sexual feelings and desires.

However, there are a lot of other factors that might come into play that might have a decent argument. Some guys (especially in big cities) have giant egos and love the attention they get from gay guys. The idea that another man finds them sexually attractive can turn them on in ways that only flourish their ego, not their groin. They will have sex for the adoration of their self image. It gives them booster points in the “hottness” department – at least they think so.

We’ve all heard stories about gay people who were on the baseball team, the football team, or even in the military and have had giant “circle jerks” with straight men to pass the time. They know they’re gay and some guys will even ask to get pleased. The emotional aspect is NOT there, this is what we need to understand. When straight guys have sex with other gay guys, it’s merely just for the ending result – and we all know what that is. This can obviously have an affect on the gay guy.

It happens more often than we think. A straight guy and his gay pal have sex one night after a drunken party, and because of this the gay guy falls in love. Why? Because straight men are hot, that’s why. The next morning, the straight guy is a little freaked out, but still in a state of “Woah! I totally just did that”, leaving the gay guy crushed (this is why I don’t date bisexuals).

How come we never act as surprised when it’s a woman? In fact, one of the most common questions women are asked by gay people is “Have you had sex with another girl?” Most of them will say, “Eh, I’ve tried.” – Like it’s the restaurant down the street or something – “Eh, I’ve tried that place. Too salty for me.”

Why have men become so uncomfortable to admit that they might want to have sex with a dude just to see what it’s like? Girls do it! We don’t even question them most of the time. America is getting more gay friendly, and men as a species feel the need to stay with the pack – no matter which water we tread. In the coming years, there is a prediction that most straight men will be much more comfortable with the idea of hooking up with guys, just to see what it’s like.

If they want to try the food at my restaurant, I’m all for it! But we have to know it’s a one stop shop and if they keep coming back for more, then it might be obvious which part of the pool he likes to swim.

June Is Gay Pride Month: Soak It In!

0

Gay Guys - June Gay Pride Month 2013

Due to May’s outrageous gay bashing crimes that took place in New York City, police officers are on high watch the next few weeks during Pride Month. We CANNOT let homophobic hate mongers ruin what our predecessors have fought to build. We should stop and smell the roses this month. By living in fear, we are doing the very thing that Gay Pride was made to counteract.

44 years have passed since the Stonewall Riots. Who knew that gay people would have such a loud voice in such a short time? Today is the day we must remember to live free and live loud. We’re gay people – nothing we do is silent!

There was a time, 44 years ago, when gay people were constantly getting arrested – spontaneously in most cases. It can make you sick to your stomach to think about what being gay meant in the 1960s. There are many people that we all know who were alive during that time and can tell us. Pick their brain. Learn about our past.

If it wasn’t for the supposed 500 people on the early morning of June 28th 1969, homosexuals might STILL  be persecuted against. We might STILL not be allowed into bars. We might STILL not be allowed to work in schools. We might STILL not be allowed to obtain a driver’s license. Take this month to enjoy your freedoms for the ones that can’t. Around the world, there are gay citizens who are not allowed to be themselves.

In Albania, the European Social Survey said that 53% of their citizens say that “gays and lesbians should not be free to live life as they wish.” That’s the majority of the country. This kind of thinking has become a part of their culture and taught, not just as the truth, but as the way to be. Homosexuality is viewed as a phenomenon in most cases, a trait that was developed by other countries and according to them, “Albania has no homosexuals.”

Let’s not take this month for granite. Here’s a fact that will inspire you… during the Stonewall Rebellion on June 28th 1969, you know what started the riot?

When the police raided the bar, they closed off all exits so no one can escape. After a while of arresting, escorting, and in some cases sexually harassing the bar patrons, the police led the patrons outside while hundreds of passers (mostly gay) were walking outside and watched the commotion as it happened. Drag Queens would be condescending towards the officers, sparking a few laughs in the crowd, yet after a while, they began to see the truth of what was happening. For years, police officers had been abusing their rights and society had been forced to follow in their footsteps. As they escorted the gay people out of the bar one by one, it was as if years of pain began to unfold within them all.

An unidentified lesbian sparked what would be the most pivotal event in the gay movement. After being escorted out of the bar in handcuffs, she was hit across the head with a billy club after complaining that her cuffs were too tight. The onlookers outside were shocked because there were rumors circling around that people were being abused inside the bar – this only made their imaginations run wild. Then the woman, bruised and beaten, turned around to the crowd and screamed, “Why don’t you guys do something?!”

It was at this moment that the 500 onlookers became a mob. Fighting and pushing and defending their identities. These were the people that created our freedom today. They are the reason why we have Pride Month. Most importantly, they are the reason why we should keep fighting. Today, in 2013, we are still asking the world the same question. Why don’t you guys do something?

Take the time to smell the roses. Though we are far from being in a world where we aren’t discriminated, at least we know that we have the power to make it happen. This is America, damn it. A country ruled by it’s citizens. When people come together to defend themselves, they spark a movement. But when people come together to love themselves, they create change…

Love Yourself This Month

 

 

Gays, Girls, And Their Free Therapy Sessions

0

Gay Guys - Gay therapy

There’s something about hags and their gays that is parallel to a person and their therapist. My entire gay life, I’ve always been the go-to “venting” buddy for all the girls in my life. When I realized that other gay guys were in the same boat, I began to ponder the idea that without gay guys, who the hell would women vent to? Not just that, but there is no other person in the world that has the patience to listen to the kind of stuff our hags spew out. I am not “Homo”wonkanobi .

Don’t get me wrong, I do love me a good therapy session. I’m sure I’m not the only gay in the world to say that. We love to act like we have the answer to all the world’s problems – and let’s face it, most of the time we do.

When your hag calls you crying about her boyfriend not paying attention to her and that her roommates being a bitch or her job sucks, we sit their laughing and nodding and assuring her she deserves every bit of happiness. We say “maybe you should talk to them about it,” not thinking of the consequences of course. Suddenly, they’ve taken this nice bit of advice as an invitation to a nightly therapy session. Then every night – like clockwork – you get to hear the latest news about what’s going on in her life and just like that, you have become her free psycho-analyst.

The worst part of it is that in most cases, when the gay friend tries to talk their hag about his problems, she is often too busy or unavailable. It happens. You know it does. Watch out, because too much of this will weigh you down!

Don’t get me wrong. I love the girls in my life, but the fact that a lot of other gays are going through the same issue seems to say something about this hidden dilemma. What needs to happen is a well-balanced vent sharing system. She tells you about her problems, you tell her about yours. The next time she calls you or knocks on your bedroom door to vent about her problems, when it reaches the 30 minute mark, direct the conversation towards you, with sayings like:

  • “I know. I feel the same way. Like today when I…”
  • “I totally understand. Remember that time I…”
  • “I feel you. I get so pissed off when…”

These are easy transitional phrases that can spin the therapy session around. Watch the look on her face. If she finds it shocking that you are talking about you, maybe you should just leave the conversation. If she’s been spewing her guts out for the last half hour and doesn’t have five minutes to hear your problems, what kind of friend is that? The worst scenario is when she finds an excuse to leave once she realizes you aren’t going to listen to her anymore, by saying she has to do laundry or she needs to clean or she needs to eat. Blah, blah, blah….

Look. The bottom line is this. We are great to talk to. We’ve gone through a lot of circumstances in our lives that required much needed reflection, which is why we can offer meaningful advice. Our outlook on situations is usually pretty accurate. The ladies know this. Help them out! Be a good friend. If they want to vent their problems to you, let them! It’s the greatest quality gay guys can give to their friends. Just beware when the friendship turns into endless parades of therapy.

Unless the venting is a two way street, my advice is cross to the other side before you get knocked out of the way.

LGBT History: 1970s vs. 2013

0

Gay Guys - Evolution of Gay Community

There’s no question that the lifestyle has changed in the forty years since the ’70s. One of the greatest causes of that has been the explosion of media and the internet. We now have tremendous awareness of diseases, cultures, and consequences of things that we had no idea existed in 1975.

As soon as you reach 50, you have an epiphany. Everything, and I mean everything, that existed when you were 20 was so much better. If you’re not careful, you can turn into a cynical A-hole:

“Oh. We didn’t have this when I was younger.”

“The music of this generation sucks.”

“When I was a kid, we didn’t care about any of this crap.”

“Stop being so ungrateful. We didn’t even have cell phones when I was your age.”

Fran Lebowitz had a brilliant realization in her documentary Public Speaking. When comparing today’s world (when your fifty) to thirty years ago (when you were 20), everything is going to be better – simply because you were younger. It’s not that the world was ACTUALLY better, it’s just the world had more potential and excitement when you were younger.

However when it comes to the gay community, the changes are significantly different. Is it better or worse? Let’s look…

THE WORKPLACE

Back then, it was a normal thing to get fired from your job simply because you were homosexual – in fact, it wasn’t taboo. It was a respectable thing to do.

The majority of the states today still have no anti-discrimination laws in the workplace. Meaning, they can literally fire you, refuse to hire you, not deal with office bullying or harassment, or choose not to promote you. All because you are gay. Since today’s world doesn’t view homosexuality as a huge threat anymore, you would think that all the states would have legal protection for gay people. They don’t.

Many workers in America are scared to come out to their co-workers and cannot speak about their partners to anyone in fear that they may get fired, or worse, get treated differently. Though the witch-hunt of the ’70s is over, it is still not demolished.

S-E-X

In the 1970s, gay sex was a very underground thing – something that this generation will never understand. It was literally ILLEGAL to have gay sex. The consequence of such an act could take you to jail over night or result in your name appearing in the newspapers the next morning for the world to see (including your boss). Because of it’s “hush-hush” persona, speaking of it was extremely taboo. Though you think it would made having sex harder, in fact it was just the opposite.

The gay community had no idea about HIV/AIDS. In fact, it wasn’t even in the world’s vocabulary at the time. This created a huge explosion of unprotected sex during the “Free Love” movement. No other city was greater impacted than New York City. Being a gay man in New York, you could leave your apartment and five minutes later meet a guy on the street and take him back to your place to have sex with him.

With a look or a glance, you instantly knew that they were looking for sex. In the 1970s, there was an infamous pier in the Manhattan that most gay people knew about – it was the “go to” place for gay sex, at any time of day. The police quickly found out about this place and patrolled it constantly.

Before Grindr and Adam4Adam, gay men would meet in certain areas of the park. Usually between certain times at night. You would go with your gay friends and could each find your own man to take home. This, of course, was very dangerous. Sometimes police officers would go under cover and arrest who ever attempted to flirt with them.

Today, sex has so much baggage. Because we are well aware of STDs and the consequences of it, there is so much intellectualizing before the actual act happens…

“Are you clean?” or “When’s the last time you got tested?” or “How many partners have you had?” or “I only F*ck with Latex.”

People are scared of sex nowadays. It’s almost as if the fun has been taken out of it. HIV/AIDS changed the entire world. Groups and communities were literally wiped off the map. It is still an epidemic and young men today need to protect themselves, but at the same time they can’t be SCARED to have sex. Sex is supposed to be fun and exciting. Your safety should always be priority, but don’t let it keep you in fear.

CULTURE

In the ’70s when gays were looked at as criminals, most of us took great pride in being as crazy as we can – in our dress, our acts, and our night life. This was obviously a form of rebellion. It was the attitude of “if you don’t like us, we’re going to be as loud as we can just to rub it in!”

Even dating back to the ’20s and ’30s, gay people found comfort in drag and lavish wardrobes. It represented freedom and expression, the kind that was oppressed by the day to day society, but welcomed by people who were like us. It was the shock value of it all that gave us utter pleasure, especially when straight people looked at us dead in the face in complete distaste.

We were all in it together. We were criminals, bound and cuffed to the laws that prohibited us from being true to ourselves. There was no one that understood our experiences, except other gay people.

The culture today has changed into a much more clique-ish and judgmental community WITHIN the community. Though there are many people who still understand the value of it, there are others who fail to remember the fight my generation fought to accomplish this freedom. Instead, the link of understanding and sympathy has left. The fear is gone – it no longer exists. We don’t need to be afraid of what people think of us anymore, because for the most part, the world is okay with the gay community.

We are no longer criminals so there is no need to hide. Because of this, the bonds that brought the gay community closer together are slowly disappearing.

When gay marriage came into the limelight in recent years, the community had an excuse to come together again. At last, they realized that we in fact, are not equal yet. This realization brought upon an education to the young gay generation of LGBT history that they might not have ever gained otherwise.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT? 

No matter what generation you live in, it is important to remember where you came from in order to know where you’re going. LGBT history is something that we must always cherish in the gay community. Without it, we will fail to see the importance of our own growth. The world today is still so blind to us. Nearly thirty percent of the country (even more!) don’t believe we should have the same rights they do.

It’s time we remember where we came from so that we can further build the bridge to equality, peace, and ultimately to a better future.

The Trevor Project – Leading LGBTQ Suicide Prevention Center

0

Gay Guys - Trevor Project - Prevent Gay Teen Suicide

FACTS:

  • Gay Teens are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than straight teens. 
  • 1/3 of ALL teen suicides are due to homophobia.

Since 1998, The Trevor Project has been determined to end suicide by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources with nationwide 24/7 crisis intervention lifelines, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.

The Trevor Project is a leader in LGBTQ suicide prevention in the United States and is a Champion of Change, an honor presented by the White House for their innovative work in saving lives. They have played significant roles as an appointee of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention and is a leading resource for anti-bullying initiatives, including StopBullying.gov.

With the goal of creating a world where no young person has to experience the difficulties of bullying and self-hate because they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transexual, The Trevor Project offers a plethora of resources.

If you have been bullied and feel like there is no one to talk to, you’re wrong. Don’t allow it to build into something that you won’t be able to escape from. You are not alone – in fact, it is quite the opposite. Millions of people in the world have been in the exact position you have been in. There are people that you can talk to that will listen, understand and most importantly, relate. From our experience comes knowledge. There are people who love you and know how difficult it is. Reach out!

THE TREVOR LIFELINE – 1-866.488.73866 (U.S.A Only)

The Trevor Lifeline is the only free and confidential crisis intervention and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth in the United States. Tens of thousands of calls from young people across the country are taken at each of their 3 call centers. The American Association for Suicidology accredited it as an exemplary crisis intervention program.

If you are having suicidal thoughts and feel that there is no other way out of your situation, call the lifeline.

TREVOR CHAT

TrevorChat is a free, confidential, secure online messaging service that provides live help through the website.  TrevorChat is only intended to assist those who are not at risk for suicide.  It’s available FridaySaturday and Monday between the hours of 1:00 PM Pacific (4:00 PM Eastern) and 7:00 PM Pacific (10:00 PM Eastern).  Connect with a volunteer who can support you with your concerns and questions.  Click here to see if TrevorChat is available. (U.S.A Only)

TREVOR TEXT

TrevorText is a confidential and secure service that provides live help with a trained specialist, over text messages. TrevorText is only intended to assist those who are not at risk of suicide. It’s okay to be scared. By being anonymous, you can find help without fear.

Text the word “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200. Standard text messaging rates apply.

After that, you’ll receive a link to a registration page, that can be completed either on a smartphone, or on a computer. You only have to complete the registration requirement once; after that, you’ll always be able to text in for support, without having to register.

ASK TREVOR 

Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. In it, you will be able to browse the published letters and are able to submit your own. It’s a wonderful resource for you to have if you’re feeling lost and confused within yourself or simply want advice.

It is updated constantly and usually has amazing feedback from the Trevor community. Do you want to submit a question? Click here. Once you are signed up, you will be able to post.

TREVOR SPACE

TrevorSpace.org is a social networking community for LGBTQ youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies. You can create personal profiles and connect with other young people around the world, as well as find resources within each community. The software used to create TrevorSpace was donated to The Trevor Project by Tim Gill, an American software entrepreneur and philanthropist. Join at Trevorspace.org.

Facts About HIV/AIDS

0

Gay Guys - Know the Facts About HIV

HIV: Human Immunodeficiency Virus

HIV in a sense prevents your body from protecting itself from doing what it is naturally supposed to do – protect itself from sickness. This particular virus plants itself into your cells, which in turn, affects the immune system, specifically the T-Cells or CD4 cells. Both of these cells are the primary fighters of infection. Without them, you will not be able to fight off diseases and infections when they happen. If not treated, it will eventually lead to AIDS.

AIDS: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

Although a person can live with HIV for many years without experiencing symptoms, their T-cells are still getting destroyed. When enough T-cells are gone, your body is severely affected. It’s ability to fight infection and disease is compromised and  when it gets to this stage, it is then diagnosed as AIDS.

HOW CAN YOU GET HIV?

Despite what the rest of the internet tells you, the only way you get HIV is when the virus is transferred to your system by certain fluids. There are only six fluids we have in our bodies that have enough HIV inside them to infect you. They are:

Blood, Semen, Pre-cum, Breast Milk, Vaginal Fluids, and Anal mucous (discharge)

It’s only when these six fluids enter your system – through some sort of open sore or rip on the body – that you can get infected. 

Your anus, penis and mouth CAN have tears, rips, or open sores inside them that may be vulnerable to these fluids. Which is why it’s important to know that if you are the “top”, it doesn’t mean that you are less vulnerable. Anal mucus exists the anus and it’s function is to coat the colon for protection. It can be discharged in a process called Anal mucous when it’s experiencing friction (or sex). If your penis has a rip, this discharge can make its way inside.

When are you the “bottom”, the risks are much higher. Semen AND pre-cum have high quantities of HIV inside them. If a person cums inside you, the chances of you having some sort of rip inside your colon are likely – especially after sex. It is easier for semen to enter your system in this way.

If you already have an existing STD, particularly ones that cause open sores like herpes or syphilis, it is much more easier to get HIV simply because there’s more open sores that the fluid can seep into. Although there is still a possibility of you not getting HIV if you have sex with someone who is positive, simply because you or him did not have a rip or sore inside both of you, it is still NOT SAFE. Most of the time, these sores and rips are unnoticeable and cause no pain. Don’t take the risk.

During the first 2 – 4 weeks of infection is when a person is most infectious. 

The stigma that comes from HIV is that it is only transmitted during sex. This isn’t true. HIV can be transmitted when your blood comes in contact with another person’s blood through sharing needles, open sores, transfusions and other surgeries (like organ donations). Though the latter is extremely rare.

HIV IS NOT TRANSMITTED THROUGH: 

Saliva, Vomit, Feces, Nasal Fluid, Tears, Sweat and Urine!

If you are having sex, you will likely come into contact with some of these fluids. Don’t let this freak you out! Despite what fear you may have when coming in contact with these fluids, they do NOT have enough quantity of HIV inside them to infect you. Although they might have a little bit, they are not the primary carrier of the virus.

SYMPTOMS:

A lot of people who have HIV don’t experience any symptoms until the late stages, after enough T-cells have been destroyed (read the above definition of HIV). There have been cases where people have lived for 10 – 15 years without any obvious symptoms, simply because they had enough T-cells in their body to protect them from certain symptoms diseases cause.

When you reach the late stages, here are a few symptoms that will happen:

Extreme Fatigue, Diarrhea, Nausea, Vomiting, Fever and Wasting Syndrome (fat/muscles wasting away)

These symptoms are brought upon only because your body ran out of T-cells that would normally protect your body from these particular things. The immune system is much weaker now, and these are the results.

Within the first month you are infected, some may experience severe flu-like symptoms. However, not EVERYONE experiences this. 

 

When Your Sibling Comes Out Of The Closet…

0

Gay Guys - When Siblings Come Out

Having a gay sibling is no different than having a straight one. The only thing different is how society treats them and how you are treated by society as a family member.

“Is he gay because his brother/sister is gay?”

“Does it run in the family?”

These are just a couple of questions people may think to themselves if you have a gay sibling. The thing is, you can’t let if get to you. People are still curious about what makes people gay. It’s a science that is still being configured – you can’t blame them for being curious. However, when it reaches a certain attitude of discrimination or prejudice due to the fact, that’s when it can become an issue.

What you fail to realize is that this “issue” is completely in your control. Not only do you have the power of stopping the judgment, but you also have the power of turning it around into something positive. When people judge, the goal is to affect you somehow. When they fail to do this, it is most likely that the judgments will stop and they will be forced to think.

Thanks to gays in the media and the recent coming outs of athletes, people are more open to conversing about gay issues. You may even find that it will make you stand out (in a good way) when you have a connection to it.

However, the sad truth is that there are a lot of families who don’t allow this kind of rhetoric in their house and may even throw their children out on the street. You may be surprised to know that most of the homeless teens in America are LGBT who have been forced to runaway or forced out on the street by none other than their own families… this is something that you cannot let happen.

When your brother or sister comes out of the closet, the main thing you need to do is to listen. Remember, they DIDN’T CHOOSE this. When the whole world is seemingly against them, they need more support. You must stand up to the plate and help them through this situation. It’s not easy (for both of you), but it is the only way to come out the other side – stronger and closer than before – since now you see them for who they really are, and love them in despite of it. Who can ask for more than that?

To be loved for who you are comes first from the family. This is where all of our strength lies. This is where the seed of self appreciation can carry us to new heights so that we may reach our potential in the world. When one is rejected by the people they love most, imagine how hard it will be as they continue on in their lives.

There is no other person that is most like you in the planet than your sibling. You have the same upbringing, the same genes and in most cases, the same tastes. Don’t let the fact that they are gay change your relationship. Instead, let it become stronger. They’re still the same person you know and love. The one that you woke up with on Christmas mornings as a child, the one who shared birthday cake with you during your parties, the one who may have helped you, or you for them, with homework (though it may not have been a great deal of help).

Your family is the one unit that you will always have for the rest of your life. Don’t let it change because of something so unimportant. Being gay has nothing to do with you are as a person. Be grateful that you have such a brave sibling – one who has the courage to be who they are, despite the world’s homophobic views on them.

You should be proud.

Dress For Yourself & Screw The World.

0

Gay Guys - Dress for Yourself - Love your Style

Everywhere we go, we are instantly pulled into the world of judgmental assumptions. It is the world we live in after all. It’s no wonder why most people who have a brain end up using it to try to impress society by dressing the way they think we ought to. We dress for our boyfriends, we dress for our bosses, we dress for approval, but do we ever dress for ourselves?

In the gay community, it is rare to find someone that will say they never have a second thought about what people will think when they look at our wardrobe. If we’re not thinking about the fashion (Is this in right now? Am I matching?), we are thinking of the fit (Does this accentuate my biceps? Does this make me look fatter?). The questions never stop. Even in the middle of conversation, we take a glance at ourselves in a mirror to make sure we look just as good as we did when we left the car.

Have you ever thought of the worst thing that could happen if you suddenly woke up and said, “I feel like this today… and because of that, I’m going to wear this with that, and these with those.” Apparently, it will do wonders for your self esteem according to most self-help books. Not only will dressing for yourself open the door to happiness, but clothes can be used as a tool to help you build your mood as well. They are instruments of joy. Use them well, but only as a completely selfish act, not a desperate ploy to be appreciated. That will just make you feel unauthentic, which is most unattractive.

Fashion is like the feathers of a peacock (before you think what I said sounds crazy, let me explain myself). A male peacock’s tail feathers are the essential mating tool for attracting a lover. When he spreads them, they go out as far as they can reach. Every peacock has his own unique pattern and eye spots and though they look pretty similar to us, they each look different to the female. It’s usually the one with the bigger tail that is more attractive (no different from humans, eh?). Here’s the interesting part. Though a peacock can try his hardest to attract a mate, he can also try too hard. Girl peacocks can get a tad bit annoyed if he is too, dare I say, cocky…

We are always dressing to impress a mate of some kind. Even if it’s not one particular person or group, we are still trying to attract acceptance from others that we’re beautiful. Are we that much different from peacocks?

The beauty of fashion is that there’s so much of it. We all look the same without clothes, and this is our only opportunity to show the world our personality and inner beauty. How are they going to see that when you are pretending to be something else? Desperation is a scent that’s as potent as a candle.

In the gay community, one of the first things we look at on people are clothes. But what message do we really want to portray…? That we read the latest trends in Vogue magazine and dress the way they tell us how to or that we know who we are as an individual and dres the way we feel inside? It’s the difference between being a follower and being original.

This is how fashion designers get noticed! Originality is the key to all success. This is why there’s so many options in fashion to choose from. Designers who really appreciate the art of fashion will tell you to dress how you see yourself. If that means going to buy a $200 button down at Armani, by God, do it! As long as you feel genuine while you’re wearing it. This is where the fun in fashion comes through – by being you.

Dress Yourself. Screw The World.

NFL Player Adrian Peterson Doesn’t Support Gay Marriage

0

Gay Guys - Adrian Peterson Doesn't Support Gay Marriage

In an interview with Amani Toomer and Bruce Murray on SiriusXM NFL Radio, Adrian Peterson said in regards to gay marriage, “I’m not with it. I have relatives that are gay. I’m not biased towards them. I still treat them the same. I love ‘em. But again, I’m not with that. That’s not something I believe in.” Ouch! For all you non-sports fans, Adrian Peterson is a running back for the Minnesota Vikings, and a VERY popular one at that.

The interview happened just hours before Robbie Rogers took the field as the first openly gay soccer player.

Minnesota JUST legalized gay marriage and will be making it legal on August first. Since the topic has been an active issue of conversation lately, there’s no doubt that it has entered the sports locker rooms at one point or another. Peterson’s former teammate, Chris Kluwe, is a firm supporter of gay rights and was recently released from the Minnesota Vikings mysteriously. No one is exactly sure why, but what we do know is that Kluwe has been extremely vocal about his support for gay marriage. In fact, Kluwe was one of the leaders in the Athlete’s Brief, which was filed in Hollingsworth vs. Perry and seen by the Supreme Court for the repeal of Prop 8.

When asked if he thought Kluwe being dismissed from the Vikings had anything to do with his views on same sex marriage, Peterson said that he didn’t think it had anything to do with the decision. Kluwe’s response to the decision was, “I don’t think I’ll ever know.”

This isn’t the first time Peterson has put his foot in his mouth. In a 2011 interview when on the topic of labor issues, Peterson compared the NFL to modern day slavery. Obviously this didn’t go over smoothly.

Whatever athletes think or not, the fact of the matter is that gay marriage is happening. It’s spreading across the country like wild fire. The sad part about it is that young people look up to these athletes. So much so that a lot of what they say will be implemented in their minds for years to come. Perhaps for the greater good, sports agents ought to keep their client’s mouths hush hush about the whole thing. Not to be biased or anything…

Gay Teen Suicides In America

0

Gay Guys - Gay Teen Suicides in America

According to studies, one in ten people are either gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning. That means that one out of ten people are living in a world that is constantly discriminating them for who they are and how they feel.

Growing up in today’s world, there are so many ways a teenager can get harassed. Social Media and video sharing sites like Youtube have created an easy tool to bully LGBT youths in schools. It’s not like it was five or even ten years ago. Bullies are thriving through the internet and because of it’s viral capabilities, it creates a surge of other minions to further taunt their victims.

Being a victim of a bully is a lonely feeling; so lonely that it can drive kids to do unthinkable things. Bring guns to school, harm their bodies and even kill themselves.

  • Gay teens are 5 times as likely to commit suicide.
  • 1/3 of all teen suicides are because they were gay.

Statistics like these are shocking and what’s even more shocking is that there are not a lot of places where gay teenagers can go to feel comfortable in being themselves. We need to open the dialogue even further with this issue, and realize that the main cause of these suicides is NOT because of the bullying, but because of how alone they feel.

Loneliness is the cause of suicides. Period. To have no one to talk to about your problems or to feel like there is no one that can or wants to help you, makes you feel abandoned. Loneliness can override all things because when we are young, all we have is our self-worth. It is the time when we develop our individuality and to have it so oppressed by hate only tells us that we are not worthy of living. Every day, someone is bullied for being gay and every day, there is someone that does NOTHING about it. What is the problem here?

 Why Is Their Gay Suicides?

It’s common sense. The reason why people are being bullied is NOT because they’re gay, it’s because of the homophobic lessons most people in America are taught. In our adolescence,we act on what we are taught. In some parts of the country, it is more common for parents to throw their kids out of the house when they come out of the closet, and the fear of being abandoned keeps them trapped inside their own hell. What kind of message does this tell our kids? What kind of message does this tell the bullies?

Homophobia is the seed that creates gay bullying. One lesson of love and acceptance to our children will stop the torment. Not only that, but it will not make LGBT teenagers feel so lonely, since the love will be more abundant.

  • In all cases of reported bullying, 1/3 of teachers did NOTHING to stop it. 

If we stop the abandonment, we will stop the suicides. Keep track of what you say and do, the one downfall about being human is that as a species, one of our characteristics is to imitate. We follow what people do more often than we think, and soon we let it overcome our own logic. It takes one act of love to ripple into the world like a wave. Just one.

One ripple that has made an incredible impact has been the Trevor Project. They talk to nearly 30,000 teens and young adults every year that are contemplating suicide or just needs someone to talk to. Don’t feel alone – You are NOT!

Call the Trevor Project at 1-866 488 7386

If you are contemplating suicide, know that there are people who love you and understand the struggles. Trust me.

We understand.

Do Single Parent Homes Make You Gay?

0

Gay Guys - Single Parents - Gay Children

There’s been an idea projecting into the water supply for several years now, and it’s the notion that single parent homes, somehow, make a child become a threat to society. Meaning, they will turn into criminals, break into your homes, knock-up every girl on the block, and worst of all, they’ll turn gay!

If the last one is true then we are in for a whole lot of gayness in the next few years since according to the US Census, 26% of all kids under 21 are being raised in single parent homes. Can you imagine if they ALL turned out to be gay? We’d repopulate the earth with sushi bars and snow-cone stands – not a bad world, eh? Too bad it’s all a fantasy.

The super conservatives have tried desperately in study after study to prove that single parent homes can affect your lack of sympathy towards society; that it can psychology damage your upbringing in such an awful way that you feel the need to rebel against all things sensible. Listen, there is no accurate prediction to the future of a child that’s based on whether or not they had two parents or one.

It used to be that unwed mothers were scrutinized for being single and in some cases, sent packing as far away as they can to save a family’s reputation (remember Demi Moore in The Scarlet Letter?). Today, it is getting more and more frequent. Not just mothers, in the last ten years single father homes increased 60%!

Today there are almost 13 million single parent homes. According to the US Census Bureau, 79% of single mothers are gainfully employed, 50% work full time, and 29% work part time. When it comes to single fathers, 92% are gainfully employed, 74% work full time, and 18% work part time. It’s obvious that women feel much more responsibility when it comes to taking care of their children than men do. The nurturing of a mother is one of the best relationships most people can have, especially during their early development – but does that make us GAY?

Some people don’t just stop at the gay thing, they also point out the fact that by being a part of a single parent home, you stand more of a chance to be under the poverty line and will fail in school, therefore in life. They’ve done poll after poll to find the answer and what they’ve discovered is that just because a child is poor, does not mean they are going to be bad in school. What makes students bad in school is poor education and unqualified teachers – DUH! So that’s one point for the single parent  home.

Today, 7 million children who are under the poverty line are being raised by single parent homes. This is a high number, but so is the statistics for black people, hispanic people, white people, ALL people under the poverty line. What is our government doing about those statistics? Are kids under the poverty line because of single parents or is it the lack of support from our system?

Families are like cheesecakes. There’s so many ways you can make it, and no matter how you do it, it’s always going to good. America needs to get off the back of these parents who are trying their hardest to make the best out of their situation. Being raised by one person does not make you gay. If that’s the case, then my hamster is a screaming homo…

Gay Men Have Periods!

0

Gay Guys - Men Get Periods Too

Woah, homo, Woah!

What did I just say? Yes you read correctly. Men have periods! I’m talking the time of the month, mood swinging, manic episode filled P-E-R-I-O-D-S!

Does this mean I have an excuse of why I chow down on cheesecake once a month?

If the period thing didn’t surprise you, try learning that for centuries it hasn’t been a secret in the science world. People have known that men were having periods for hundreds of years, it’s only now that our science is crazy good we are able to figure it all out. Little did we know, that it was the simplest of findings… the answer lied with Mother Nature. She really is a bitch.

As we all learned in elementary school, human beings are animals. My old professor said that we were monkeys that shaved (he also kept a flask in his desk). Anyway, because we were born of the human species, we carry what scientists like to call “hormones”. Women’s being estrogen and Men’s being testosterone – some more than others.

Now these “hormones” fluctuate more times a day than a fat kid’s belt size. Meaning they’re constantly changing to match our surroundings. So what does that say? It means that while women’s hormones are acting crazy during their time of the month, it will apparently alter our hormone levels as well if we are in close proximity, due to the natural biochemical reactions. What I’m saying is that periods are contagious! Hide yo hags, Hide yo wives, this sh*t is real…

According to research, the male period’s most apparent side effect is the significant change in moods. Depending on your default personality, it will send you soaring sky high towards that direction. Meaning whatever emotion you are in that day, it will be multiplied. If you are sad, you might get a giant dose of depression. If you are angry, be sure not to play Apples to Apples that night (we all know what will happen). If you are happy, you just might end up the most obnoxiously smiling person on the subway. It all depends on you.

Now… here’s the major factor. A male’s period only outwardly occurs when you’re around women while they’re on their periods. Soak in some common sense. It doesn’t take a brain scientist to tell you that when straight guys are around their girlfriends during their period that the first thing they do is run! Leaving the girls alone with who? Their gays! That’s right… the gays are the first to suffer the male periods. Our lives just keep getting better and better, don’t it? Here’s my advice:

When your hag is on her rag, get the hell out of there!

I don’t care how much lemon sorbet she bought at Ralph’s. Unless you are guaranteed that it is going to be a happy period, no gay man should have to be the escape route. If you have no other option, my advice is to maintain control of your mood. When you get the call that she is on her period and begs you to bring over the entire series of 30 Rock, remember dear friend… hormones, for us, are “chore”mones. In other words, it’s a job, but we must keep strong.

Gay men have periods. The world all makes sense now.

Manorexia Is Taking Over The Gay Community!

0

Gay Guys - Health - Manorexia

There has been a sickness going around the gay community called Manorexia. You can’t walk down the street without seeing a bean pole in a tank top, until you do a double take and realize that it is, in fact, a person! These magazines that everyone is reading seem to be convincing us that we need to be 15 pounds to look cute. Guess what… when people see you that skinny – all they’re thinking about is how skinny you are. Gay guys, stop starving yourselves!

Self image doesn’t have to be based on what society reflects to you through entertainment sources. Just because they put it on their magazines, doesn’t mean that it is how they think. The whole point of these things is to be ENTERTAINED. It is all meant to be a joke for our minds, a mental satire of nonsense solely based and triggered to poke fun of society. In other words if you take this as reality, then you become the joke.

Don’t be the joke.

When Emily Blunt said in The Devil Wears Prada that her diet consists of starving herself, then when she is about to pass out she eats a cube of cheese… this is clearly a joke. Why do people think that this should apply to them? It has become a logical mental block. Starving yourself isn’t logical. First of all, it does the complete opposite of what you want it to do. Your entire body shuts down, forcing it into pause. Your cells begin to suck out resources from your muscles and bones, since it has no food to get it from. Then, your metabolism gets messed up. You have to go to the bathroom – number 2 – just by having one M&M.

The whole process is dangerous for your body and needs to be avoided, and pronto. Think of all the guys that we look at as sex symbols. The ones you’ve stared at in the grocery aisle, forgetting that its yourself that it’s your turn and pissing the lady behind you off. All of these guys are not that skinny. So where else do we get this idea? The women’s world.

If they spread their menstruation cycle to other women, they indeed share their eating disorders with us. We have become so infatuated by this world of beauty, glamour, and celebrity that we started mimicking their problems. Gay guys and women have always had that problem. There’s always one of us following the fad of the other, usually failing miserably.

Eating disorders should NEVER be an issue. It used to be the parents who were to blame. Dads would tell their daughters they were too fat compared to his other daughters and moms would say things to her like: “You don’t need that last cookie” or “Are you sure you want another helping?”

In the last five to ten years, social media has become like a screaming sports coach constantly telling us that we need to get better. Anyone getting a flashback on our days moping on the bench. For all you non-sports gays:

Bench: (noun) The place a disappointed coach sends you during a game when you’re too awful to play.

Today attractiveness has become more than just visual. It’s become skin deep – except worse – its become a belt size. Suddenly guys are bragging that their pant size is 26. Get it together. Scarlet O’hara had an eighteen inch waist only once, and it was during that scene. Even after she had her baby, she still looked good. Let this be our example.

Can Marriages Make Gay Adoption Less Complicated?

0

Gay Guys - Gay Families - Gay Parenting

Thanks to Minnesota legalizing gay marriage, there are now 11 states that have passed the law. The fact that there are still issues with gay adoption in this country is yet another conundrum in the heads of every same sex couple who want to be a parent.

According to the Williams Institute at UCLA, 20,000 gay couples are raising 30,000 “officially adopted” kids. Unfortunately, the number of children that aren’t legally adopted by at least ONE of their gay parents is (ready for this) over 2 million! That’s 67 times over.

Currently, only 21 states in the country have made it legal for two gay parents to JOINTLY adopt a child. They are New York, Florida, Maine, Arkansas, Oregon, Illinois, Washington, Iowa, Nevada, Delaware, Colorado, Maryland, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Hawaii, California, Indiana, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Vermont. It’s also legal in the District of Columbia and Guam.

Why is the minority of states not allowing for gay couples to be parents of a child? 

According to the American Psychological Association, there is no evidence to show that a child who has two gay parents is psychologically different than any other child who was raised in a heterosexual household. Sexual orientation develops the same way in either circumstance. Why is the government not allowing children to have a safe home? Instead, they leave these kids to bounce from foster home to foster home. There are a lot of cases that show wonderful gay couples opening their homes to foster children and later adopting them as their own.

With gay marriage being legal in eleven states now, will this make it easier to adopt?

In reality, the adoption issue seems to not even coincide with the marriage issue. Sadly, it makes it extremely unclear in a lot of states. If you are living in one of these 21 states, it’s a lot easier to fill out adoption papers as a couple, though it could take years to get approved depending on the adoption agency and state.

Whether you both are adopting a child (second parent adoption) or if one of you is adopting the other’s biological child (stepparent adoption), it is going to be a difficult task. If the candidates were a legally married gay couple, it might look better on paper and when a social worker visits your home, it can give you a little extra push. Still, there is prejudice everywhere and the journey to legally adopt is hard (even for straight couples). By looking at the 2 million “un-legal” kids versus the 30,000 kids that are  “legal”, it’s clear how difficult it really is.

Every year, adoption requests are constantly getting rejected. Adopting from birth can be up to $50,000. When you are adopting your spouse’s child who is a bit older, it can be even harder because then you have to go to the courts. Because the law is so blurred when it comes to this topic, a lot of it is left to translation.

Finding a surrogate mother to give birth to a biological child can be nearly $20,000 – $35,000. Even then, the law will still be in the way for the other partner. Granting permission to put both of your names on the birth certificate will be difficult, unless you are in the 21 states above. These little details matter tremendously down the road when life happens.

Did you know that when  a child is not legally adopted by their parent (s), they both have NO legal status towards each other? This means that:

  • The child has no legal say in anything if their parent(s) dies or falls ill.
  • The child can’t claim inheritance if a parent(s) dies.
  • The parent(s) can’t register the child for school.
  • The parent(s) can’t put their children on health plans.
  • The parent(s) can’t benefit from huge tax deductions like heterosexual couples can. Nor can the child claim social security or other insurance benefits.
  • The parent(s) can’t make medical decisions for their child.
  • If one parent dies, then the other has no legal right for custody or care for the child.
  • If the parents separate, the other parent AND the child have visitation rights, nor can it be argued.

In the year 2013, it is pretty likely that gay adoption is going to pull through in the near future for all states. The crucial thing to be aware of is that the more time we waste, the more trouble we are making for current same sex couples who are in dyer need of this legal change.

Somewhere in this country:

There is a parent that can’t make a life or death medical decision for their child because they are not considered their parent.

There is a child who has to pay thousands and thousands of dollars in taxes after their parent’s death because they have not been awarded the child benefits.

There is a child that might not have a parent because their biological parent died, leaving the other parent helpless for custody.

There is a parent with an amazing health insurance plan who cannot put their children on it, leaving them at a high risk of paying thousands of dollars of medical bills should something happen.

Something is wrong with this picture. Let’s get our head out of the clouds and our judgments in the ground. The gay adoption issue is only making people’s lives harder. The whole point of adopting is to give a loving home to a person who otherwise wouldn’t have had it. The government is currently preventing that from taking fruition. This is when we need to speak up for change.

It will only make our country better in the future!

Jallen Messersmith: The First Openly Gay College Basketball Player

0

Gay Guys - Jallen Messersmith - First Out Gay College Basketball Player

They’re coming out like groundhogs!

Sophomore Jallen Messersmith is a forward at NAIA Benedictine College in Atchson, Kansas with a major in Accounting. A few days ago in a write up with Outsports, Messersmith discussed what it was like to be the first openly gay college basketball player. As a matter of fact, Messersmith reached out to Outsports BEFORE Jason Collins came out – now that is persistence.

“When I came out, there was nobody in my sport I could relate to,” Messersmith said. “I always wanted to put it out there and I had a great experience with it and I wanted to show people it could be fine.”

Being raised  a Mormon in Blue Springs, Missouri wasn”t exactly a great place to come out. With four sisters and 23 cousins, one would think that he had resources to turn too, but he didn’t. Messersmith was bullied in junior high so much that his mother had to take him out and home-school him. When he went back to a public High School he found solace in basketball. Even though the bullying still continued, it started to seize a bit when the school realized how good he was.

How good you ask? Good enough to be named MVP, “Mr. Hustle”, “Mr. Defense” and “Mr. Basketball.”

When he arrived at Benedictine, he was still in the closet. It wasn’t until his good friend died in a car accident that he realized he needed to start being honest with himself. This was the wake up call he needed – no more hiding, no more lying, and no more secrets.

It was just a year ago he came out. First to his parents, who claimed they knew all along; then his teammate/rommate/best friend, who took as if it were not a big deal at all. In sports, it is always nervewraking to come out to your teammates, especially after hearing homophobic comments that most locker rooms have.

“I didn’t want to draw a ton of attention,” he said. “I was going to be gay and have this side of basketball. I wanted it to be that I was still a basketball player who just happened to be gay.” To Messersmith’s surprise, his entire team had his back – so much so that he brings his boyfriends to games!

Yes, I said boyfriend(S)! You can’t expect a 6’8, 215lb basketball star to be have just one boy on his arm, do you?

“You’ve just got to be comfortable with yourself,” he said. “I wasn’t very comfortable with myself for a long time and then when I was, if you put off the confidence and you are 100% comfortable when you tell someone, they will support you. They can’t, as much as they can try, drag you down. It’s all about you. It’s what you think. If you are comfortable with yourself, you can do anything.”

Now that Messersmith is getting some attention at being the first openly gay college basketball star, just imagine how college life is going to be for him now. Since Benedictine is a catholic college, it could have been quite the scandal – thankfully, they can understand that talent is talent!

With all these athletes coming out, I imagine the locker rooms will change to something a bit more gay friendly.

A disco ball, perhaps?

LATEST POSTS

TRENDING NOW