Men are cheaters, let’s face it. But the good ones know how to control it. If you’ve made a pact with your man not to be open in the relationship, he ought to respect that for the duration if he wants to keep you. Never should you be okay with anything less.
We love our man. We want to see the best of all situations, but at the same time we can not be shmucks. There are obvious signs that he’s cheating, and it’s time we refocus ourselves. Here are a few to watch out for:
#1) His phone is glued to his leg.
When his phone goes off, and he leaps in front of you to grab it; or when he might as well tie his phone to his leg with a rope, chances are there is something in that phone he doesn’t want you to see. People in relationships who cheat on Grindr often hide it deep inside a folder in a folder in a folder, but that don’t mean it isn’t there.
#2) Lack of communication.
Men aren’t usually scared to speak their minds in a relationship, but they are scared of how their partner will react. In other words, it’s not that they’re scared to tell you what’s missing—they’re just scared that you’ll either a) freak out, b) break up with him, or c) go nuts and tell him all the things that’s wrong with him he doesn’t want to hear. So instead of communicating with you, he’ll go and have sex with someone else.
#3) Attitude change.
If there’s a visible attitude change or shift, something is definitely wrong—whether it’s infidelity or not is what you need to figure out. Sometimes a man shifts his attitude because he’s trying to runaway from something (perhaps it’s guilt?).
#4) The sex changes.
When a man goes from average to Olympic champion in the sack, you gotta raise concern. Where the hell did he learn to do that with his pelvis? Clearly he’s been practicing elsewhere. Without trying to assume too much, you need to figure out why the hell he’s all of a sudden a pro.
#5) He accuses you of things that are ridiculous.
We often accuse people of things we’re guilty of ourselves. I like to call it “Republican” syndrome for obvious reasons. Hypocrisy is a huge symptom in cheaters. They are often incredibly hypocritical about what they accuse you of. Deep down, they’re really accusing themselves.
#6) He’s not nearly as friendly when you’re out with friends.
All of a sudden, he’s internal about his feelings. He used to be a social butterfly when you went out. Now he’s all about introspection and observing from afar—something is clearly on his mind, and it’s not here and now.
#7) He refuses to tell you where he is.
It doesn’t matter the situation. You can call him and ask him where he is, he’ll still beat around the bus, or worse, he’ll tell you he’s somewhere you know he isn’t. Sometimes days will go by and you have no idea what the hell he’s been doing. I’m all about trust, but I’m also about staying in touch.
#8) He’s the excuse KING.
It’s almost like a talent. He has an excuse for everything—why he’s late, why he’s distracted, why he isn’t in the mood. Everything excuse he gives sounds innocent, but as they pile up, you soon realize it’s more complicated.