10 Signs You’re Actually a Gay Introvert (Even Though You Try Not to Be)

signs youre an introvert

Introverts get a bad rap, man. Gay guys typically say they want to marry an introvert but would rather sex with extroverts. Trouble is, in a community where everything revolves around sex, us introverts begin to wonder if it’s ever going to be our turn.

Introverts are sexy as hell, but only when we truly embrace our introvert-ism. Too many of us try to be more outgoing or interested in people than we actually are—this is how trouble ensues. It’s time to get real. You’re an introvert. Here’s why:

#1) Small talk makes you nervous and you don’t know why. Introverts are thinkers, so they thrive in bigger conversations about life and ideas rather than crap. We’re good listeners (obvi) for the most part, but we’d rather not spend time talking about why your host is allergic to gluten. We’d rather talk about cooler things.

#2) Love-hate relationship with crowds. You’re at a gay club and try to fight through the stress, but you still end up finding yourself more comfortable outside with the smokers who like to talk at a normal volume.

#3) You only emotionally connect to people who deserve it. We’re careful. Giving a piece of ourselves is precious. We want the world to think we’re outgoing and special (and they do), but it takes a special soul to see our vulnerable side—one we can trust, and because we have a strong intuition, this person truly is special.

#4) Everyone thinks you’re flirting with their boyfriend. This is because you’re a genuine person. There aren’t any “hidden meanings” behind your niceness or authentic behavior. You’re not faking, so when someone is funny you tell them they’re funny; when someone is sweet you tell them they’re sweet. It’s a breath of fresh air meeting a cool guy until they’re boyfriend sweeps in and pulls him away because he’s jealous. But hey, nothing you can do about it.

#5) You know good quality in everything, i.e. art, work, people. You have a sixth sense in a way that lets you know when something isn’t right, but really it’s a truth meter. You can spot when someone is being fake or when any kind of work was half-assed. Because of this you’re probably a good person to ask advice to about quality in most anything.

#6) You’re mysterious at times, but you don’t try to be. You just are. There are some people who would think you’re withholding information on purpose, but really you just would rather not share everything about your life to strangers (nothing wrong with that). We can’t all be attention whores.

#7) You like talking about your projects, but get a little uncomfortable talking about yourself. It’s hard for an introvert to sell himself. If you ask a writer to talk about themselves, chances are they’ll say, “Read my work. It’s all there.”

#8) You have an occasional witty status on F.B. but would rather watch YouTube instead. Who needs the Facebook? There are countless amateur documentaries on YouTube about awesome topics no one really knows about.

#9) People have compared you to “Pongo” from 101 Dalmations. When asked why, they say because you’re loyal and such a good friend. Really?

#10) Time is precious. As you get older you start to realize how much time you’ve spent not being social and start to panic: Am I ever going to find a husband? How can I turn it around? Have I lost certain friends? Eh whatever…

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