How to Flirt When You’re Socially Awkward

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There are way more socially awkward people than ever before. We’ve gotten so used to interacting with each other on phones or behind our laptops that the idea of going out and being social gives terrifies the bejesus out of us. But if you really want a boyfriend, you need to put your money where your mind is.

Being a socially awkward person has its benefits, mind you. You’re almost always the first one to sense inconsistencies in people, and chances are you know yourself really really well. But not everyone is going to see you for the hot commodity you are until you allow yourself to be seen.

There needs to be a genuine effort from you. It’s hard out there for even the most outgoing people, so for guys like us it can be tricky.

Listen, rather than think.

When I see a guy I like it can get awkward pretty fast, but when I backtrack I realize the reason why it became awkward in the first place was because I overthought everything: what I looked like, my body language, my words—as a result I became a stuttering weirdo.

Change your habit. Instead of thinking so much (or rather overthinking), start centering yourself and listening more. When you listen you react naturally and with instinct; not to mention it’s also easier to block out the rest of the room, making him feel important.

Equip yourself with assets.

By that I mean know what you’re good at—hone them, turn them into confidence and self-esteem. Overall this is a small percentage of what you’re worth (you’re actually worth so much more).

When you’re confident in the person you are and what you have to offer to the world, you’re always going to present yourself in a more lucrative way. You’ll be proud of what you’re selling. You know you’re just as (if not more) worthy than anyone else to find love and you’ll display that energy up and out for people to see. At the end of the day you won’t have to say a word to anyone so long as you do the internal work, first.

Be a big boy.

By that I mean be mature enough to know your boundaries. It’s hard when you already feel like you don’t fit in socially, I know, but at the same time there is an unspoken awareness of “space” we all need to abide by.

The last thing anyone wants is a guy who follows them everywhere, stares at them over a drink and keeps trying to flirt by touching and caressing. Believe me, maturity is more than just about yourself—it’s also about consideration of others. Own yourself.

Don’t hide how you feel.

Trust yourself more often. It’s hard sometimes to try and show a man how you feel about him out of fear that you’ll f*ck it up and he’ll think you’re a total weirdo (again!). But there are plenty of ways to make your contact suggestive without being invasive.

Holding eye contact, smiling and minor teasing are all playful things you can do to let him come into you without feeling like you’re giving too much.

Stop shaming yourself.

Believe me, no one is judging you for anything (you haven’t done anything for us to judge, silly!). I’m shocked at how many people enter a conversation with a built in assumption that the world is judging them—they instantly start shaming themselves and become defensive for no reason. Stop it!

The reason why you might think others are judging you is because, deep down, you’re judging yourself. You’re incredibly uncomfortable with whatever situation you find yourself in and all of a sudden, you think everything is against you. Start being on your own side!

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