Life is supposed to be full of adventure. For people like you, it’s more than that. You share your life with awesome friends, an awesome family, and an awesome job. People tell you you’re a catch and how “happy you’ll make a man one day,” yet for whatever reason, you’re still single. What’s the deal? If you ask me, I think it’s because of these reasons:
1You have too many friends that limit your availability.
You have a great personality and are the life of the party, that’s amazing! It’s the reason why you have a lot of friends in the first place. Friends are great – they help us become a better person and shape us so that we may expand our limits. But on the same note, having a lot of friends unconsciously creates a bit of pressure to keep them.
There’s nothing wrong with having a big circle, but it doesn’t come without the tiniest of sacrifices. When you’re young, you want everyone in your life to be happy. But it’s best to grow the discipline of time and emotional management. You don’t need to be on-call for everyone. You have work, family, and dating – all of which make life rewarding. Don’t be a “yes” friend.
2You might be too much for people.
The good part about this is that you’re always going to attract a man willing to handle you. Even the most confident of gay guys will get nervous around someone who’s so comfortable in their skin, so uninterested in kissing corporate America’s ass, so turned off by disingenuous people. Unfortunately, the gay culture is turning into something totally artificial, and it’s rubbed off on our personalities.
You know who you are and carry yourself as such. You don’t apologize for it, and that’s what’s so attractive and intimidating at the same time. You’re above everyone else. You’re at a place everyone wants to reach eventually, but by the time they do you’re bored (that’s the curse of always being ahead of your time). I’m not saying you need to dumb down (please don’t), but have compassion for people who are still working out their baggage. After all, seeing examples of people like you inspire the rest of the world to rise up to another level – give them a chance to investigate how you do it.
3You’re distracted by better options.
You know what you deserve, so when you see something better, there’s a likely chance you’ll probably be distracted by it. Commitment and attachment take a while to build, but our society today has made us believe that we need what we’re looking for right now, now, now. We want everything exactly the way we planned it because we don’t deserve anything less… trust me, this kind of thinking is always going to stint you from all types of relationships. Sparks are great, sex is awesome, love is a gift, but true attachment and devotion take time to build. You’re never going to attain it if you keep throwing men away like playing cards.
4You never think you’re “ready.”
What is ready? You can’t keep giving excuse that you’re not “looking for something serious” or that you need time to “work on you.” We all know you like being single, and that’s fine and dandy! What you can’t do is keep great guys at a distance because you don’t think you’re ready – no one is ever ready for anything. The more you say this, the more you’re hypnotizing yourself into believing you can procrastinate anything in life.
5You are your own person & you don’t want to share yourself.
I respect someone who marches to the beat of their own drum. It makes them that much more attractive to guys – let’s face it, we all want to catch someone who is seemingly “hard to catch.” Don’t feel bad about living your life the only way you know how, but never let it make you stubborn or illogical. The beauty of life is that it changes with the currents. When something great happens along the way, don’t dismiss it right off the bat because it doesn’t fit your “plan.” Sometimes a surprise on the road actually accelerates your plan.
6Your career is always coming first.
I know I’m awesome and talented, and so do you. People want to work with us, play with us, create with us, grow with us, be associated with us, but, what is a busy workday without having someone to relieve it all at home on? A man you can talk out your issues with, vent to when you need someone to vent to, have sex like there’s no tomorrow so you can be a clean slate in the morning? You might not think you need it right now, but having a balance between work and love is one of the most important things in life. Too much of anything is going to be dangerous. Leave your job at the office, behind the desk – don’t carry it with you everywhere.
7The idea of settling scares the shit out of you.
You’ve been a free spirit all your life. You know because everyone tells you, people want to be around you all the time, so the idea of settling with only one person terrifies you whether you realize it or not. You assume they might take away your light, they’ll distract you from what you believe is important, or they’ll prevent you from accomplishing things you’ve been needing to achieve. Trust me, this is your ego talking. When good things arrive in your life, they always (ALWAYS!) make everything else BETTER and more enriched. Why wouldn’t you want to share your time with someone who inspires you to be a better person? You’ll probably never know they have that potential because you won’t give them a chance to show it to you.
8You don’t know how to be intimate.
You’re an expert at being intimate with friends and possible short-term lovers, but when it comes to boyfriends, you lack the experience. And trust me, it is a different kind of strategy. It comes from a different part of your brain, which needs to be honed before practiced. Part of the reason why you might be scared of tapping into it is because love, for whatever reason, knocks you off center. It makes you lose the “cool” factor you’re used to carrying around and you might be terrified of feeling not-like-yourself. Trust me, it’s okay to lose yourself a bit. That’s what love does. It hits you hard and gets you to thinking new thoughts, but at the end of the day, these thoughts are lessons in disguise – valuable lessons that only a soulmate can teach.
9You think people can read your mind.
You go out and get what you want in nearly every other circumstance, except for love. It’s time to stop assuming that guys know what’s inside your head – they’re always going to judge based on the evidence you throw at them. If you’re not giving them bait, how the hell are they going to know when and where to bite? I get it. You’re an amazing person and you’re probably used to people begging for your attention, but you’re not above human psychology. If you’re interested in a guy and want him to know it, for f*cks sake, show it to him!
10You assume no one is as good as you.
I’m a firm believer in loving yourself, really, I am. I love myself and I know that I always need to come first, but there’s a fine line between self-worth and narcissism. Assuming no one will ever be good enough for you is truly a form of denial. It’s illogical and will always stint your growth. If you can’t see passed people’s minor flaws to see their incredible strengths, then frankly you probably don’t deserve him anyway. You’ll be much more happier dating yourself, so cut out a life-size cardboard of your favorite selfie and exchange rings. I’m sure you and yourself will have a very happy life together.