How to Love Yourself Again
We’re too afraid to love ourselves.
There are days when all that’s left of you is a half-broken smile and a dash of hope. Everything is fine until that one hint of doubt breaks through, plummeting you down a well of bad memories.
Loving the world is easy. Loving your family and friends is easy. But loving yourself requires you to think outside a well of bad memories. You need to combat them with new ones, nourish it with compassion and plant new seeds that hopefully turn the well into a spring.
The years of self-doubt eventually become a habit. We’ve all had bad days—I’m no stranger, believe me. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years of being sad, it’s an ability to question my moral compass.
Loving yourself requires you to take a stand. Too many times we’re pushed and shoved with ideas—some so strong we can’t help but believe them—that knock our frequency off track. We feel guilty for things we shouldn’t feel guilty for, we’re angry at ourselves over things that aren’t important, and we stress over things rather than simply fixing them.
At some point we need to take responsibility. How were these ideas planted: by the world or ourselves? It might take a while, but sooner or later we all need to discover that the real culprit keeping us from loving ourselves is us.
We’re too afraid to love ourselves because it feels selfish. Trust me, as a so-called “nice guy” I thought love was something I had overstocked. I gave so much of it to the world that I knew without a doubt I had plenty of it left for myself. But at the end of the day it was I who neglected myself most.
It’s interesting what happens when we try to love the world too much. We start to think taking care of ourselves is a sacrifice one must make. Believe me, it’s not.
Would you treat someone else the same way you treat yourself?
Would you speak to someone the same way you talk about yourself?
Would you hug yourself, love yourself, or kiss yourself the same way you kiss everyone else?
There comes a moment when we realize the amount of time spent tearing ourselves a part is another second wasted from putting ourselves back together.
Self-compassion is something we teach ourselves. It’s not something we learn in school, in bible class or even our parents in most cases. In a world full of loud voices, it’s we who must filter away the ones that don’t matter.
To love is to be. Be grateful for who you are. Understand yourself. Know that in order to find your groove in this world you must float on top of your own appreciation. If you can’t love yourself how can you ask the world to do the same?
You’re more than a reflection, a job, a name, a title, a boyfriend. You’re a light in this world—with a purpose, a direction, a mind to decide what or how to get there. But most of all you have the ability to love. Relish in it.