By and large the biggest issue gay guys have with bottoming is that they don’t know how to do it properly, honey. For those of us who watch gay porn (I can safely assume it’s most of us), watching dudes taking it up the bum with ease prompts a keen interest into how exactly they do it.
Is it magic? Is it practice? Is it a skill that should be acquired?
The truth of the matter is it’s an overwhelming confidence—a confidence that requires necessary tools.
I’m versatile guy myself, which took a while. For years I was scared of bottoming out of fear I would traumatize myself or the guy I was with. I’d been with guys who weren’t very clean “down there”—I’ve also been with guys who were not at all open to bottoming, which made my experience as a top as fun as watching a slug chase its tail.
To gain confidence in bottoming you need to know yourself, first. There’s always something to be gained by truly becoming aware of your body and what it’s telling you. If you know you’re smelly or dirty or unclean in your private region, chances are you won’t be as confident as a man who is.
At the end of the day there are 3 things that will help you gain confidence in bottoming. Believe me, I learned through trial and error:
#1) Don’t Give Yourself an Opportunity to be Insecure.
In other words: PREPARE. When you do your preparation you will be much more confident in the experience you give yourself because the questions will be gone: “Am I clean?” “Do I smell?” “Is everything good?”
Most beginner bottoms are scared of having an accident on their man’s penis (or bed sheets). Hey, it’s real. We’ve all experienced some type of accident either from us or him, and we’re terrified of it happening again. Here’s an idea: prepare yourself and be smart about it. No one knows your body better than you do at any given moment. If you feel like something might happen, don’t do it.
#2) Don’t Think of the Pain, but Rather the Adrenaline Behind It.
When you expect it to hurt, guess what, it’s going to f*cking hurt. But here’s some news: anal sex isn’t supposed to hurt. It really isn’t. Your body is designed to send pain signals to let you know something isn’t right or is going wrong—when you receive these signals from anal sex, you need to check how and what you’re doing.
We’re all shaped differently. The tubing inside of our anuses have curve at different angles, they have varying space and volumes between them. All bodies are built different. Get to know yours. Know your sensitive spots and do some self-experimentation on which positions allow your tubing to be shaped perfectly. The only reason why you might be dealing with pain is because your literally forcing something inside you the wrong way. Investigate!
#3) You’re the Captain.
Sex cannot happen without a man willing to be penetrated. So without you, there will be nothing. Know that and understand that you are the captain of this ship. You steer the course of the direction, tempo, mood, emotional connection, etc.
Take charge of how, when, how fast or slow you will accept. He has no choice but to follow you. Have sex on your terms only. When you do that you naturally bless the experience with confidence and self-approval. The rest is yours.