10 Struggles of Being a Nice Guy in the Gay Hookup Culture


10 struggles of being a nice guy on hookup apps

Being a nice guy is hard, especially in a world where superiority complexes are aspired to. As a guy born with a naturally nice disposition, being anything but nice feels selfish. It feels likes I’m going against everything I know is true. But every once in a while, you need to step it up. It’s become expected.

It’s hard for anyone to date in this digital hookup culture, but for gay guys it’s especially hard because it’s sunk into our mindset. How in the world can Mr. Nice Guy thrive in an environment full of Mr. Right Nows? The struggles are real. Here are just a few:

#1) You’re searching for something most men aren’t willing to offer.

Most of the world tries to keep an emotional distance with new love. We’ve been hurt in the past so we need to keep our hearts in a cage. We’ve been lied to, disappointed, led on, taken advantage of or are too afraid to commit long term that we’ve built a pattern of disconnection. Nice guys always see the best in people, and often live in the present rather than dwelling on the past. We see a guy that has everything we want, but usually discover he’s unwilling to open up. The sad truth is you can’t change someone’s mind or heart if they have no desire for it.