I don’t about you, but for whatever reason it’s difficult for me to welcome new gay men into my life. Put me in a room full of women and I’m a social butterfly. The next day I’ll most likely have every single one of them lady’s numbers. But place me in a room full of gay guys and I fall into a shell. What’s the deal?
I think I’ve figured it out. First of all, I know I’m not the only gay man who has issues with finding new gay friends. That’s not to say I don’t have any whatsoever, but finding new ones are difficult. The friends I do have I’ve known forever and they earned my trust long ago. As we get older and more aware of what human behavior actually is (in all its ugly ways), we tend to be a little cautious when meeting new people. But for gay guys, it’s become a little intense. Here’s how I’ve managed to see it:
#1) Don’t assume anything.
It’s hard to make friends when you assume a man is doing, thinking, or being something he isn’t. Not every smile means he wants to f**k you, not every touch is supposed to be flirtatious, and not every conversation topic is an innuendo. One of the major issues gay guys have when trying to make friends is the un-knowingness of it all. And believe me, it’s a hard one to crack.
When you’re with a group of straight girls, straight guys or lesbians, you’re clearly not going to have any of these assumptions. With gay guys, some are going to be cruising while others will be schmoozing. It’s just what we do. You never know what you’re going to get, so the only to enter it is with a neutral attitude. Keep a healthy pair of eyes and ears to yourself and don’t assume anything until proven otherwise.