Last night I was out in West Hollywood and I got into this heated “discussion” with this drunk queen who thought it would be funny to walk up to my group of friends and start asking me questions that were both inappropriate and racist in my opinion. “Do I have an Asian penis?” and “which one of my friends was my sugar daddy?” to start off a conversation would someone you’ve never met – not classy.
Honestly at the end of the night that thing that bothered me the most was the time I spent talking to this washed up queen who’s only way to get attention is to try and get under random people’s skin to make himself look like a diva in front all of his “friends”.
When the night was over we all went back to someone in our group’s apartment and started recapping that odd hour we spent earlier in the night with that random drunk. Out of our group of 5 I was the only Asian guy. We started talking about stereotypes about gay men, Asian in particular, and to my surprise my friends had all these way off notions and generalizations of Asian men. Some were the same ridiculous conclusions that the drunk queen we met up earlier had.
I asked them why haven’t I ever heard this stuff before and they all said, they didn’t want to offend me and that I didn’t conform to most of those stereotypes. One of my friends who is VERY direct with very little filter actually said that if I was a stereotypical Asian that I probably wouldn’t be part of their group. He said it with lots of love of course…
Dude, this is 2015. With all the boxes that gay men are put into, why the hell would you turn around and place a race of men in that group into another box??
While, yes, there are some gay Asian men that fit into the box of some of these stereotypes that doesn’t mean we all do. And the ones that do fall in, it doesn’t make them a bad person or less worthy than someone else. While I appreciate my group of friends being honest and accepting me for who I am, they should use me as an example that everyone is different. Race does not define a gay man.
Just a few of the stupid generalizations that people make about gay Asian men:
We are only interested in white men, and only white men are interested in us.
We all have small c*cks.
We are all bottoms.
We are submissive to the men we are with.
We seek out sugar daddies to spoil us.
We all look alike – same body shape, size, color and faces.
We are all sluts (more so than other races).
I actually feel bad for the Asian gay community, because we fall victim to these generalizations and because of it we end up getting pushed into them. This was really weighing heavy on me since that awkward conversation I have with the guy at the bar, but seeing this written out really opened my eyes to a problem that I didn’t realize was all around me.
Wake up gay men of all races! Celebrate our differences and don’t use it as a way to segregate us into these generalized subcultures.
PS – I found this video that was from a while back – AMAZED at people’s views of gay Asian men…