10 Risks Single Gay Guys Must Make to Find Love


risks gay guys make to find love

Like you, I know that taking risks is necessary in life. But most of the time I’m terrified of the results they might bring. I live so much in my head that whenever an opportunity arrives, the first thing I do is take an easy way out. I don’t like “what ifs” and “possibilities.” I’m comfortable knowing without a doubt that things will work in my favor. Turns out, this is the thing that’s been holding me back from love.

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There are people in the world who thrive on adrenaline. They’re risk-takers who make huge decisions with their gut more than anything else. They take leaps of faith every day and though they might have major failures, their successes are incomparable.

Having the guts to put your self out there doesn’t require risk at all. Think about it. We do it every day without fear. We walk to work, sit in coffee shops, go to restaurants, the beach, and on occasion visit the gym for some well-needed cardio. We exist in the world, yet we close ourselves off when a man dares to recognize our possibilities. When we reject them, we’re not avoiding risk. We’re living in fear, which leads me to one of the greatest risks any man could take:

#1) Rate Yourself on a Scale of 1 – 10.

1 being a complete waste of space and 10 being exactly the type of person you yourself would date. Have you done it, yet? Congratulations. You’ve now judged yourself. This is how you view yourself. This is what you think your potential is. This is what you’re selling to the world. And this is how you view others.

Self-image is a huge problem in the gay community, especially because 99% of how we view ourselves is from the outside in (i.e. how they think of me rather than what I think of me). It doesn’t matter where you exist on the scale. A person with either a really big ego or low self-esteem has trained himself to live their lives in desperate need to be validated from others. It’s an interesting concept that requires much risk on your part to see passed.

Self-image affects your esteem as well as your perception of the world, and it manifests itself in the way you treat people and how people react to you. It also totally controls your ability to take risks. When you’re confident enough to accept rejection, you’ll be confident enough to create new relationships without denying them access. How you perceive yourself is how you can change your life. Ghandi once said, “Before you can change the world, you must first change yourself.” I couldn’t agree more. Try working your way up the scale. You’ll soon find life to be a whole new game.