Why Preferring to Date One Race Over Another Makes You a Racist


racial preference gay dating

The existence of racism began with an idea. Someone somewhere thought it’d be nice to try and make himself important, which is something we all want. The easiest way to make one feel valuable is to create a false sense of entitlement. To fool the world into thinking you’re worth more than they are. It’s a sure way to gain self-esteem. Celebrities do it through artificial means, bosses do it through power, but one of the most common ways of creating social value is to insight racial segregation. Single gay guys who prefer one race to another aren’t “picky.” They’re racist. Here’s why:

There’s a difference between a type and a generalization. Everyone has a type. Our types are the first ones we look at in the room. Some guys prefer blondes while others prefer redheads; some guys like to look at a man’s fashion sense, i.e. hippies, skaters, or professionals; and some guys prefer taller boys over shorter ones. These are all types. A generalization is different. It’s sweeping judgment on an entire group of people based on a fantasy or stereotype.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you had a thing for redheads. Would you blow off a sexy brunette if he approached you one day? Something tells me you would at least give him the benefit of the doubt. Well, what if an equally as attractive man of another race did the same thing? Would you blow him off without even giving him a chance? The data says yes.

Generalizations are incredibly damaging to your wellbeing. It stops you from looking at anything else but the stereotype you’ve created inside your head. It’s not the same thing as “preferring” blondes or redheads. It’s impossible to know for a fact that every single man of a certain race or ethnicity has no chance at finding love with you. If I asked you why you preferred not to date a certain race, the only answer you can possibly give me will be rooted with stereotypes, the same way you’re prejudiced if you think every redhead is an awful lover or all Asians are power bottoms. You might claim that you’ve had bad experiences in the past, but think about it. Was it because of their race that it didn’t work out? If your ex were a die-hard fan of Star Wars, would you eliminate anyone else who liked the film from your list of future candidates as well? It’s called narrow-mindedness and you are a fine example. It enables you and feeds you power while preventing any self-reflection on what led you to that perspective in the first place.

There is no logic behind racial preferences. We learn from an early age how to generalize through cultural brainwashing. Anyone who thinks otherwise is yet another tool in the never-ending mission to keep ethnicities separated, an idea that defines oppression. Skin has become currency and our color has turned into value. This creates nothing but a racial superiority complex because when you assume someone’s way of life is less than yours (either on a socioeconomic or human scale), you’re no different than the politicians who bash homosexuals or parents who throw their gay teenagers on the street.

You want to know the sad truth, though? It’s not your fault. Racism exists to make us feel better about ourselves. If you don’t like yourself, racism and prejudice can be a fabulous tool to help you get there. Money can be made from racism. It can be turned into propaganda to help politicians get elected, businesses create viral marketing campaigns, and reporters to find a story to help launch their career. It’s a subject that’s best left inside the pipeline because if it wasn’t there, what the hell else can we talk about?

What we need is to expose ourselves to the damage of racial preferences in the gay community. Too many people fear discussion because it’s uncomfortable. The guys who claim not to like “Blacks” or “Asians” or “Hispanics” on Grindr are the same people to dismiss the subject when it arises while trying to defend their racist views, yet, they’ve also never dated a Black man or an Asian or a Hispanic in their lives. The truth is they’ve probably never been exposed to them at all, so how could their logic be anything else except a sweeping generalization?

Racism can end if we want it to, but it probably never will. It’s already proven to us how lucrative it can be. It’s a crappy tradition passed on by ancestors of all ethnic backgrounds. Fantasies can end, but without the dream there is only reality. And reality is a scary place to exist in, especially when the message is one of equality. No one wants to be the same because our culture has trained us to be better than everyone else. Fantasyland is much more comfortable for most of us.

History has proven that whenever there is a visible divide between class or race, uprisings are bound to happen. It’s animalistic, and it’s how most civilizations in human history have perished. It’s time we come to terms with the fact that we’re not as nice as we think we are. Preferring one race over another makes no logical sense. Any argument to the contrary is stemmed with bigotry, and, most of all, denial.



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