Too many gay guys out there feel discouraged when they discover their partner masturbates. For whatever reason we believe that if they’re jerking it alone, perhaps they’re dissatisfied with us in bed. Trust me honey, this is far from the truth.
Every guy on this planet considers themselves an expert at masturbation. The minute we discovered our erection it turns into one of our greatest pastimes, so when two guys enter a relationship, masturbation has no choice but to come with it. Instead of assuming it has no place in a monogamous setting, why not embrace it?
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you own each others orgasms. If that were the case there would be no room for individuality or freedom to be who you are as well. This ain’t a dictatorship. Monogamy doesn’t mean you have to ejaculate in front of each other and despite most people’s first inclination that it’s “mental cheating,” jerking it is not a red fag that he’s dissatisfied with you. I know from experience.
One night last year I walked in to the bedroom and saw my man going at it on himself a mile a minute. He didn’t hear me come home and was slightly embarrassed that I walked in on his “me time.” At first I didn’t know how to handle it, but I’d be a hypocrite to say I never masturbated either. I could have easily over-thought it and begin to feel insecure about what I was offering him in bed, despite that we were both very satisfied. Instead I came to realize that masturbation helps us in ways we’ve never seen before.
Men masturbate for pleasure, when they’re stressed, when they’re tired, when they’re bored or when they’re horny. There is next to zero research showing that too much masturbation is a sign of sexual dissatisfaction. Only when it becomes an adamant replacement for sex should we be open to investigate. Masturbating is mother nature’s best invention, especially for gay couples. Though many people are under the impression it lessens your sex drive, it actually increases it.
The more we masturbate, the more sex our body craves. A recent study of college students showed that those who masturbate frequently also have intercourse more frequently. The chemical dopamine is released into our brain each time we ejaculate and because it also fuels addiction, it can trick us into thinking we need more to be satisfied. The result is an increased sex drive and an erection lasting much longer than usual. That’s always good news in a relationship, honey.
Masturbating separately (or together) encourages you to keep hold of your sexual prowess. It allows you to know your orgasmic potential by making you the student and the teacher of your own body – an education you can then incorporate during sex. When we’re alone we’re much more willing to explore ourselves. No matter how long we’ve been with our boyfriends we still want to look hot for him and let’s be real, that kind of thinking can take us away from feeling the proper sensations.
As men, we learn about our bodies and sexual responsiveness via masturbation, it helps single people to maintain sexual functioning and expression, it provides a safe outlet for us when our partners are disinterested in sex or are unavailable, it’s a safe alternative when there is a risk of STDs and, most importantly, has the possibility of preventing cancer.
For too long masturbation has been emotionally linked to our compatibility with a man. For guys in long-term relationships, it’s become a small form of cheating. As someone who’s not willing to give up my masturbating regiments, I can assure you the only bad consequences of masturbation is too much of it. When it reaches a level that effects your sex life, it’s time to take it down a notch. But for gay couples with healthy libidos and high sex drives, the benefits of masturbation are astronomical.
We’re men. No matter how many times we jerk it before our lovers come over, chances are we’ll still be excited for another round. Masturbation doesn’t just benefit our sex drive, but our partner’s as well. I don’t know about you, but jerking it will always be my favorite appetizer a few hours before the main course and in a weird way, it turns me on to wonder what my man does to himself behind closed doors.