If we truly want to know how shy people show affection, we need to enter their thought process. So many gay guys today admire extroverts. If you’re not outgoing or eager for the spotlight, most of the time you’re considered awkward or pretentious. Being a shy guy in the gay community can be one of the hardest things to deal with, but when push comes to shove it’s us extroverts who need to be schooled – not them.
Shyness has nothing to do with a lack of self-confidence, however they do have a hard time convincing themselves that anyone likes them. Because of this, they’ll remain inside their shells until it’s safe to express their feelings. Shy guys are very observant and notice things that most people don’t. This is an amazing quality to have and, in a way, much more authentic.
Too many guys today try to get noticed. Often times it becomes more about them than anything else. Shy guys are mysterious without meaning to be, but just because they like to keep us guessing doesn’t mean they’re not worth our time. Instead of giving up on them, here are a few signs you should look out for:
- He Looks Away When You Make Eye Contact
Shy people have active internal lives and are much more comfortable thinking and feeling rather than showing it externally. Keep that in mind when you see him checking you out. This means he was at one moment blocking the world away and focusing solely on you – until you interrupted him. He’s used to his imagination being his best friend and as soon as someone catches him inside it, he’s bound to get a little nervous.
- He’ll Avoid Talking Directly To You
Shy guys typically find the easy way out when it comes to conversation. Instead of trying to talk with you he’ll talk to people around you or the group as a whole. If you’re across the room he might speak above the crowd in an effort for you to hear him. Try not to view it as a lack of courage. He’s just trying to gather his thoughts.
- He’ll Try To Appear Smarter Than What He Is
While extroverts tend to try and impress you directly, shy guys often do it under the radar. One of their techniques is to gain interest from afar by passing information indirectly. Schooling someone on politics, books or history then glancing at you to see if you’re listening is a major sign. He might also whip out his phone to prove a point or even help someone prove theirs.
- He Asks Stupid Questions
Give him credit for finding the nerve to approach you. The most important thing to do is not to make him feel awkward for trying. Stupid questions don’t mean he’s unintelligent, it means he’s nervous and can’t think of smart things to say. The need to speak with you is more powerful than the need to look “together.” Chances are, he knows the questions are stupid as soon as they come out. You can read it on his face. Set his mind at ease and engage with him discretely rather than distancing yourself.
- He Becomes A Bit More Cynical
Because it’s hard for him to think of articulate things to say, he could bring more sass and cynicism to the conversation. Having a sharp tongue is the easiest way to engage someone without being anxious. By instantly giving himself “power” he’ll be more comfortable having conversations with you. Often times teasing is the number one sign someone is crushing on you – shy guys picked up on this technique a long time ago.
- They’re Willing To Do Favors For You
Sometimes words become too hard to articulate and action turns into the most viable source of translation. If you find him eager to do things for you, i.e. fill your drink, help you move, help you research something or drive you places, chances are he either wants to be near you, wants to show how reliable he can be or is depending on actions to speak louder than words. All are signs of affection. Take it for what it is, otherwise he’ll most likely crawl back into his shell.