Can Love Really Exist for Gay Men Like It Does In The Movies?



Love and romance are life’s most enviable blessings. Whether we admit it or not, we’re obsessed with the idea. No matter how boisterous we are about staying single, the image of an old couple slow dancing in their kitchen resonates deeply in our hearts. They say life is better shared, but does this kind of love truly exist or is it a Hollywood fantasy? 

One of the greatest things about life is that it’s full of surprises. As much as we want to control the things that happen, most of the time we’re left up to the mercy of fate. Keeping our head held high under such mystery can be difficult sometimes, especially when we’re constantly comparing our lives to what we see in the movies.

I’ve known a lot of gay couples who’ve been together for decades and if there’s one thing they all have in common, it’s devotion. Through the course of their relationships they’ve experienced challenges that have proved their commitment. Whether it was discrimination, infidelity, family issues, money problems or internal struggles, it’s those who make it over the hurdles that end up stronger on the other side. Many gay guys entering new relationships expect this kind of devotion to appear out of thin air, but unfortunately it takes time. With so many technological distractions, it seems like most of us don’t want to put in the effort. Longterm relationships are slowly becoming a thing of the past.

Successful relationships are all about balance, which are often confused for incompatibility. If we like to go out dancing while our boyfriend would rather sit at home, we’re quick to assume it’ll never work out. If our boyfriend doesn’t enjoy certain kinds of music we like, our first reaction is to distance ourselves. If we have life goals and dreams while our boyfriend is still figuring it out, it’s clear we’re not a match.

What we fail to see is that balance is teamwork. No matter how low we feel, the love of our partner lifts us back up. Instead of calling our differences dead ends, we should consider it challenges. It’s only when the imbalance knocks us from our comfort zone that we recognize it as incompatibility.

Sometimes life can surprise us in the most glorious way. Just five years ago I was working in the file department of a law firm. Most of the friends I have in my life now I’ve only met less than a year ago. With every decision we make, every corner we turn, we have the possibility of altering our enter universe. Love is the fuel that takes us there.

It’s easy to say that love comes from the heart. In many ways it does, but even more than that it resides inside our intuition. It sits in our physiological makeup, not the imagination. When our personality, soul, mind and body resonate on the same plane with another human being, that’s when we know it’s real. The more we compare our love lives to romance novels, the less satisfied we’ll be. There are many different kinds of love and it’s up to us to write the story, not someone else.