Can A Gay “Friend With Benefits” Be A Good Thing?


Gay Guys - Friends with Benefits - BFFs

Let’s be honest. Sex is everywhere nowadays. Whether it’s on your phone, in the clubs, or in the subway, and if you really wanted to, you could have sex anytime, anywhere. But what if you don’t want to have sex with a stranger? Is a friend with benefits a better option?

Friends with benefits are slightly different in the gay community than they are in the straight community. Most gay men call it a “No Strings Attached” experience, or in Grindr lingo: “NSA.” Sure there’s meaningless sex, short lived intimacy, and minimal social contact, but while a straight woman calls this scandalous and exciting, a gay man might call it life in his early-twenties.

FWBs are different than one night stands, in some ways they’re more complicated. Having sex with a stranger takes away some of the common pressures. You don’t have to stay the night, add him on Facebook, or wait anxiously for him to call. Instead you just do the deed and leave with a thank you text, if that.

Since recent surveys have shown that men fall in love more quickly than women and are less interested in having time to themselves (away from their partner), I can’t help but wonder if FWBs are a smart thing for the gay community. There may be some very successful ones, no question about it, but isn’t it just a matter of time before your emotions become intertwined?

I’ve known many people who have benefited from FWBs, but I also know just as many who have suffered. Most of the later ones claimed to have experienced FWBs while they were young. The successes, however, experienced them a bit later when they were more mature. If you think about it, it makes sense.

When you’re young, naïve, and fresh out of the closet, everything means something. A look, a touch, or a whisper can speak a thousand words and can make your emotions run wild. During this stage, one can become attached very easily. But as you get older, and more knowledgeable about the world’s order of things, an FWB may start to look beneficial. At least from where I’m standing.

Two single men who have sex with each other to relieve their urges and have no plans on building a future together, to me, doesn’t seem that bad. But everyone wants to find love, whether they care to admit it or not.

If two hot naked bodies are rubbing against each other, mimicking the “idea” that they’re in love, there’s bound to be some sort of emotion behind it – especially if the relationship is ongoing. Gay or straight, boys or girls, FWBs can be a great thing, as long as the ground rules are in check.

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Have YOU Ever Had A Friend With Benefits? 

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