Talk about a delicious, high-nutrient meal! With only a 5 – 25 caloric intake, semen is a perfect after-dinner treat and goes great with a tall glass of hunky man flesh. Of all my years of having sex, there’s always one thought that consistently occurs: can I make my semen taste better? Well, according research (and quite a bit of practice on my part), yes it can!
Our semen taste is a major result of what we eat, so if you’re eating Quarter Pounders all day, you better sit down and take some notes. Food alters not only the taste of semen, but the texture and also the volume. Why didn’t they teach this crap in Home-EC class, I wonder…
Let’s be honest, a true swallower will only taste semen for, say, 5 – 8 seconds before it’s gone. But hey! It might as well be a delicious 5 – 8 seconds right?
How To Get Better Tasting Semen:
- Drink Tons Of Water – Water flushes out all those dirty toxins we have in our bodies that transfers to our semen, leaving it tasting like dirty chemicals.
- Celery – The magic vegetable. Notice its taste. That citrusy-feeling your taste buds feel will also make your semen taste less bitter. Rule for thought: If you’re diet isn’t so healthy to begin with, up your celery intake. At least you can hide the bitterness.
- Acidic Fruits – Blueberries, cranberries, strawberries, and plums. These have shown to make your semen taste more sugary. So if you want your man to think he’s sucking on a Tootsie Pop, up the acidics!
- Citrus Fruits – Pineapples, oranges, and grapefruits can thin out your semen to the point where it tastes lighter and cleaner. Consider it “Diet Semen” for all you health fanatics.
- Watermelon – Not only does it thin out the texture, but it can also give it a sweeter taste that acidic fruits give. Two treats in one!
- Liqueurs – Most liqueurs have shown to give the same sugary, sweeter taste like most fruits.
- Cinnamon – It covers up the funky taste that some semen has. If your man is new to swallowing, up your cinnamon intake. Give him the best taste you possibly can so you don’t scare him away.
Stay Away From:
- Coffee & Beer – If you drink too much coffee or beer, your semen is probably not going to taste pleasant. Though they may wash away some toxins, caffeine and beer will always leave a dirty trail.
- Garlic and Onions – They are the dirty house guest that never goes away. They’re everywhere: your sweat, your pee, your breath, and now, your semen. Moderation please.
- Cigarettes – Tobacco makes your semen taste awful. Period. Another downside is, once you stop smoking, it will take weeks for it to rid itself from your semen completely.
- Meat & Fish – Though it may be good for building muscle and gaining body mass, it will make your semen taste like butter. So unless your married to Paula Deen, keep them at a distance.
* Fun Fact: Research shows that eating a lot of cold water fish, or taking fish oil pills, can increase circulation for the genitals. In other words, you will have a better sex drive! The downside? That damn buttery taste…
- Sulfer-infused Food – Broccoli, beans, and some nuts & seeds have shown to give a more saltier, bitter taste. Eek!
- Dairy – Milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream (I know right? All the good ones!) have a lot bacteria inside. It is from a cow, after all. The result is bitter tasting semen which no one likes. Anyone up for some Soy Milk?
Organic & Clean Products:
Organic and clean foods are always the best way to go. So if you insist on having hamburgers, you better make sure they’re 100% lean and organic. Not only will your tummy thank you, but so will your man.
There’s a reason why vegans have better tasting semen (yes, the rumors are true). Not only is this because of the healthy foods they digest, but it’s also because of the ones they don’t digest, i.e. Quarter Pounders with cheese, pickles, and mayo. Chemicals are the enemy to tasty semen. Beware.
So in your experience, have you found these tips to be true?
Also See: The Perk to Masturbating You Didn’t Know