The Good Bottom’s Guide to Being Prepared:


good bottoms guide

As a single bottom in the gay community you have to ALWAYS be on your game. You never know when the next Andrew Christian model is going to walk up to you wasted and ask to have sex in the back of his 2007 Jetta…

Here are some tips the most bottoms should live by:

Rule #1 – Be Selective of What Goes in You!

I’m talking about food. Having a healthy diet will make your body feel better and will also make sex a lot cleaner and comfortable.

Also remember that if the chances are high you’re going to get some action, probably better to not eat a few hours before you go out.

Give your body time to take care of business.

FEATURED: 10 Ways For Men To Look Younger

Rule #2 – Don’t be a Messy Jessie, Be a Clean Jean!

Every bottoms worst nightmare is to be walking down Santa Monica blvd and you overhear some top that tore you up the weekend before tell his friends, “Hey, look there’s that messy bottom I told you about…”

Don’t be embarrassed to buy mouche (male douche). If you have a local sex store they’ll have plenty of it, but you can also go down to your local grocery store or CVS or drugstore and grab something. It’s better to feel a little awkward buying mouche than to be mortified of a catastrophe during sex.

Make sure you’re REALLY clean and ready. This is a combination of mouching, a thorough shower, trimming and whatever else it takes to make you feel confident about your next mission.


Rule #3 – Know Your Limits!

If you’re a newbie at bottoming, make sure you’re just dipping your toes in the water before trying to do a cannonball. Bottoming is fun, but only if you know how to proceed with caution.

Make sure the top you’re with knows that you’re not pro so he doesn’t try to pound home and leave you in a wheelchair. Take the time to get warmed up before going at it too hard (it also adds to the fun).

If you’re an experienced bottom then you might be able to drop pants and sit on a fire hydrant without even breaking a sweat BUT you should also be aware that as certain parts of the body expand, they don’t shrink back to the original size.

So make sure to not overdo it by putting on your size queen hat and going out to find the biggest anaconda you can.


Rule #4 – Keep Your Bottom Kit Stocked!

Yes, like I said, sex can happen at any moment when you’re gay. Could be the tweaker bag boy at Ralph’s Supermarket wants to go behind the dumpster for a quickie, or maybe the drunk straight guy that just got dumped wants to take out his aggression on a happy hole…either way its essential you have your Bottom Kit:

– Travel Size Lube
– Condoms
– Toothbrush & Breath Mints
– Baby Wipes

Being preventive about bottom maintenance will help you worry less about something embarrassing happening during or after sex.

And remember – ALWAYS practice safe sex!

FEATURED: 10 Ways For Men To Look Younger