Thank God for besties. They’re always there for you in your time of need with no judgments or questions. Ideally, they have roughly the same tastes as you and have a similar life structure – which is what drew you to each other in the first place.
But what if you’re both gay guys? Would there start to be an attraction over time?
It’s not a secret that most gay guys befriend girls in their early years. They are, after all, the ones that listen the most and are usually the first ones to accept our sexuality. In high school, it’s most evident. You’re at the lunch table – the only boy in a group of girls – and it becomes clear that something is different.
At this stage of your life, the first boys that show interest is most likely to become intimate. You’re not used to the attention of boys and it can be a little confusing. Some of us take that feeling all the way to adulthood, trust me. When you come out of the closet, you’re suddenly surrounded by masses of gay boys (too many to choose from) and the only feeling you’re used to expressing is either romantic interest or sexual interest. At what point does that habit break?
I’ve seen many gay best friends who have absolutely no sexual attraction to each other at all. They’re just besties, united together by similarities and they even try to fix each other up. What is the difference between them and other gay guys who can’t keep it in their pants when they’re around other gays? Maturity.
Sorry to break it, but maturity is the main reason why two gay guys can become best friends. If nothing but sex is on your mind when you are with a guy, in any circumstance, it might be time to move on to the next phase of manhood. Straight men ask me all the time: Is it hard to be best friends with a gay guy? Do you ever just fool around with each other, just because your gay? This is a ridiculous question – but to be honest, they bring up a solid point. Boys are boys, gay or straight. Sex is on our minds all the time, and when you add to the equation another similar mind, is it bound to lead to sex?
Even now, at 26, when I first meet a man in any situation, I check him out. Of course! There’s nothing wrong with that. However at this phase, it should be more self-contained. That phase is over with and people need to make appropriate choices. Companionship is the most important thing in life, and if you’re lucky to find it in another gay guy, that’s fantastic. If you think about it, it’s the greatest situation. Girls can get tired of going with you to gay clubs – they have needs too, you know.
With your gay friend, it’s pretty much non-spoken that when you go out, you’re going to a gay place. With girls, it’s always a question. The more gay friends you surround yourself with, in reality, the more likely you are to find your future boyfriend. Gay guys are more likely to listen to other gay guys, especially in romance. Sorry hags.
Don’t be afraid to welcome new gay guys in your life. It’s always great to have someone to connect with who has a similar lifestyle – there is more to talk about, and it leads to the best gossip with never-ending mimosas on a Sunday afternoon. Cheers!